I'm sure this assertion will seem heretical to fans of classic rock radio, where Paul Rodgers' popularity continues to defy plausible explanation, but it's time someone spoke up about the bloated emperor's lack of clothes.
If there is a less romantic romance song than Bad Company's "Feel like making love", I've been blessed to have escaped its sonic dispersal. The opening lyric, "Baby, when I think about you, I think about love" is a fumbling overture, articulated with the charm of a drunken bar patron at 2 a.m., and the plodding, leaden beat of the chorus offers the same graceless sexuality that the drunken bar patron would offer if opportunity knocked without knocking him over. The combined allure of primitive lyrics and sludgy music are akin to being seduced by the Hulk---and not the CGI Hulk, but the Lou Ferrigno Hulk of television fame.
Of course, picking on Paul Rodgers for his sophomoric lyrics is like mocking a goat for its inability to do subtraction, but it's hard to resist when he offers up tired tripe such as "if I had the sun and moon/and they were shining/I would give you both night and day/Love satisfying", shite that would get a D in junior high English class along with a red-pen comment, "nice job on the rhyme."
What annoys me most is that the song so embodies the cliche, brutish male, what Bukowski called "unoriginal macho energy." This is Rodgers' paean to hornification, a loutish attempt to seduce a woman to bed by stating, "I feel like makin' love/I feel like makin' love/feel like makin' love to you." Gee, what woman could resist that kind of sweet-talking charm? His lyrical gifts make Gene "they-call-me-doctor-love" Simmons seem cleverly subtle.
Compare this to another song from the era, Marvin Gaye's "Let's Get it On", in which Marvin croons emphatically, "We're all sensitive people/with so much to give/Understand me, sugar, since we got to be/Let's live." Both songs endeavor to persuade someone to slip between the sheets, but notice how Marvin urges, "Let US get it on" (note the partnership), while Paul bellows, "I feel like making love" (note the desire to satisfy his own pleasure.) I have no doubt that Marvin's method garnered him a whole lot more post-show gratification.
But I'm dissecting too deeply---let's get back to the surface: Boring, bland, and boorish. That's why it's on my list.
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4 comments:
Here I am, your most faithful blog-commenter!
I see you've taken up the cause against lyrical artlessness. Just don't let the Lennonesque gnash ruin the McCartneyesque cheer, that would be a shame.
That said, this one is worthy of the lambasting. (Or basting, would work too. Then stick a fork in it.) I love the image of him trying to pick up some chick. And he's all "I feel like makin' love" like 3-4 times with no specific object of the lovemaking... like anyone will do. All wrapped up in his rapturous delight, he doesn't notice the girl isn't impressed... but then finally he does, and it occurs to him to tack on the afterthought, "...to you"!
Still, I genuinely enjoy the slow dumbass-brutishness of the riff and how it sits in the song structure. The verse is all quiet and acousticky, but then.... bu-dut, DZSHHH! bu-dut, DZSHHH! bu-dut, DZSHHH! - FEEL LIKE MAKIN LUHHHH - DZSHHH! bu-dut, DZSHHH! (*) bu-dut, DZSHHH! - FEEL LIKE MAKIN LUHHHH - DZSHHH! bu-dut, DZSHHH! bu-dut, DZSHHH! - FEEL LIKE MAKIN LUHHHH - DZSHHH! bu-dut, DZSHHH! bu-dut - FEEL LIKE MAYY KEYAHN LUHHH TOO YOUUUUUU
Not only is it the same kind of verse/chorus dynamic change Nirvana was much-praised and incorrectly credited with inventing, it's just, you know like, awesome. bu-dut, DZSHHH!! bu-dut, DZSHHH!!
(*) Note that by this point you pretty much get the idea, but it continues to boneheadedly beat you into sumbission for another like 8 more times. 'Tis a lovemaking overmuch mechanical, repetitive and relentless, slow and full of bu-dut's and GZSSHH's. There's not much choice but to lie there and wait for it to be over. Oh yeah baby, you like that? Had enough yet? Well too bad baby, yeeeahh, this one's comin at ya ALLL night long! Yeeeah, feel like makin' love, bu-dut, DZSSHH, bu-dut, DZSSHH!
That had me holding my gut laughing---"'Tis a lovemaking overmuch mechanical, repetitive and relentless, slow and full of bu-dut's and GZSSHH's" especially. (Heck, I'm still laughing.)
It occurs to me that you might have actually played this song in the last year---an image which, with your comment as the caption, makes me continue laughing.
Fear not---to put your excellent metaphor into actual concrete terms, "Silly Love Songs" is never going to get the treatment here. (Because that song rules!)
That's funny: The reason you think that metaphor is apt is because you're the one who thought of it first, don'tcha 'member? Must've been in an email or something. Wish I could produce documentation.
The karaoke band does play one Paul Rodgers opus, but it's "All Right Now" by his previous band Free. An equally dumb one, now that I think about it. That one's more like "JERNNNT (dak, dook) bu-nant BLEARNNT (dak, dooka-dak) bon-Dernalern-a-daernalaern a JERRNNT (dak, dook) - Took her home, yeah, to my place (dooka-dak) Watching every move on her..." On her what? What rhymes with place?
The little bass solo is fun though.
"Feel like makin' love" is TOTALLY going through my head now. Thanks a lot, haha! :)
But see, that's his trick: Make it seem like it was all my idea in the first place.
Well, not ME, per se, but you know, whoever the "you" ends up being.
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