Turn that frown upside down

Too much bad news. That’s what callers to a radio show were saying this morning, that the media’s constant reinforcement of bad news makes the struggling economy a self-fulfilling prophecy. But with the daily news of mass layoffs, business failures and escalating unemployment, how do we put a positive spin on the news?

Quite simply---invert the numbers:

Oregon unemployment has risen to 9%? Then let the headline be:

Oregon employment continues to hover at 91%

A major manufacturer lays off 5% of their workforce?

Major manufacturer continues to employee 95% of staff

Down Jones drops 2%?

Dow Jones industrial average retains 98% of value

See? The “facts” are the same, but a steady flurry of numbers above the 90th percentile offers a more reassuring backdrop to our economic concerns. In fact, it doesn’t have to stop with economic news:

Mayor Adams lies about relationship with 18 year old man?

Sam Adams tells truth about more than 99% of his relationships.

Well, okay, that sounds weird. Maybe it should stop with economic news.

A cheat sheet for the bible?

Regular readers know that I am enamored of simplified study guides. Whether long form Idiot's Guide books, or short form laminated placemats, I enjoy the oversimplification of massive ideas into small, digestible bytes. (Sorry, pun unintentional.) As I scoured Amazon recently for something completely unrelated, I chanced upon "Faith Charts", a product that summarizes concepts of Catholicism into convenient six-page documents. The first that I encountered was The Bible at a Glance.

I grew up Roman Catholic, and got the impression from my priests and catechism teachers that I should read the bible, not study a Cliff Notes version that offers a chapter-by-chapter synopsis along with quick bios of central characters and roots of the the major dramatic conflicts. The Bible at a Glance seems to cater to the laziest common denominator of the 21st century human by offering a shortcut to reading history's ultimate best-seller. As I recall, the Bible is often referred to as "The Word of God"---frankly, it's a bold act for the publishers of this piece to assume the task of editing God's word to a size smaller than many direct-mail brochures.

This Faith Chart begins, "What is the Bible?" Frankly, that's a rudimentary start, akin to a pamphlet on brain surgery starting with, "What is the brain?" I can't find a good image of the other contents, but according to Amazon, The Bible at a Glance covers "what it is, who wrote it, how to read it, the books of the Bible, where to find..., and more!" My favorite part (seriously) is that the illustrations throughout are all stained glass images, providing both vivid color, stylized images to support the text (so Joseph and Mary don't accidentally look like stars of a new Fox drama), and the familiar of the churches of my youth.

This summary strikes me as a strange concession to modern appetites. I understand we're all strapped for time, but commitment to a religion isn't like committing yourself to the TV show Lost: For that, a little org chart to understand Ben's relationship with Daniel Farraday's mother is a beneficial tool. The Bible is the word of God---considering that the reward is eternal life, perhaps the long version is worth the time it takes to read it?

Peculiarly, I could find only three titles in the Faith Charts line: The Bible at a glance, Catholicism at a glance, and St. Paul at a glance. Frankly, I immediately thought of the bumper sticker, "Jesus is Coming..and boy, is he pissed." Taking a backseat to St. Paul in the Faith Charts publishing chronology probably isn't going to help with that problem.